Now, Peter, you’ve probably been told that this is an interview, but in fact it’s more of an interrogation. You’re in a spot of bother, I’m afraid.
Why? I ain’t done nothing.
Well, that’s for the police to decide. Because the fact is, you picked a peck of pickled peppers and nobody knows where it is. If you can provide a satisfactory explanation, you’ll be fine. Now, where have those peppers gone?
You don’t know? A whole peck of peppers? Let me remind you, Peter, that’s 554 cubic inches we’re talking about. You can fit a lot of peppers into that. Now, would you like to tell me exactly what happened?
I was just… Me and this bloke George, we were going into town, see, and there was this field of peppers and, well, me and pickled peppers – I can’t resist ’em, know what I mean? So I started to pick a few, just what would go in my pocket, enough for a jar, like, no more than that, honest. But then George said if we picked a whole peck, we could sell it.
Right. Well, it so happens that those peppers belonged to Farmer Giles and he’s hopping mad. So I’d like to know a bit more. This George fellow – friend of yours, is he?
No. Only just met him.
Got a surname for us?
Right. Thought as much. We’ve had our eye on him for a while. He’s been making the girls cry. And now you’re saying he’s a pepper thief too.
Yeah. Nothing to do with me. I told you.
Well, thank you for being so cooperative, Peter, but there are just a couple of problems. Firstly, Georgie Porgie ran away last week when some boys came out to play – before the peppers were picked. Secondly, we have a witness, Tommy Tucker, who was singing in Market Street when he saw you walk past lugging a peck of peppers. Now it won’t take me long to get a search warrant, but I’m thinking you’ll want to spare me the bother and tell me where those pickled peppers are.
Yeah, well, I, uh… I swapped them.
I met this girl, see. She was selling sea shells on the sea shore, so I –
Peter, that’s not going to work, I’m afraid. We’ve spoken to her already…