Thank you for receiving me, Left Foot Sandal. And I must say, I’m sorry to see you in that condition. What happened?
Oh, the usual wear and tear. I’m not getting any younger, you know. In fact, I’d say it’s the end of the road for me now. It would only require a few stitches, but when a sandal’s over the hill, cobblers just don’t operate. So it’s curtains for us, I’m afraid. The bin. Euthanasia.
Oh, that’s terrible, Left Foot Sandal! Don’t worry, I won’t throw you away. I’ll keep you as a souvenir. After all, we have all those memories to look back on. Ten years you’ve been my sturdy companion – no other sandals have come close. Why, I remember our very first outing together. The path to Santiago de Compostela. Oh, the blisters you gave me!
Well, yes, but it wasn’t very sensible to walk 200 kms the first time you took me out. And it was bad enough for you, but what about me? Positively sole-destroying. Still, we became very comfortable with each other in the end.
All those countries we’ve visited. Jungles in Malaysia, mountains in Kyrgyzstan… Not to mention the streets, the monuments, the museums.
Well, you can keep your museums. I’m sure you saw some wonderful stuff, but to me it was just skirting boards. Not that I minded much – I’m not that big on culture.
Where’s Right Foot, by the way? I was expecting to see you both.
I’m afraid we’ve fallen out. He thinks it’s my fault we’re being replaced. He says he could carry on for years if it wasn’t for me.
That’s not very nice. I thought you were inseparable.
We are, but it doesn’t stop us fighting. Politically we’re just too different. He’s so far to the right I don’t know you managed to walk straight. And quite snobbish with it. He’s got this chip on his strap about being ordinary. At times he goes off into this fantasy world and pretends he’s some sort of Louboutin. He needs to get a grip, in my opinion.
Well, give him my regards in any case. It was a pleasure to have you with me all these years.
You’re welcome. Good luck with your future travels. Up hill or down dale, just put your best foot forward.